Death and dying: How to have hard conversations for your writing

What a doctor knows about discussing life and death

It was a hot and humid afternoon when I got the call from my dad Paul.

I was sitting in the school car park with one child, about to pick up another.

As a general practitioner doctor of 40 plus years he cut straight to the point: one of his major arteries was 95 per cent blocked.

He would have surgery in two weeks.

The risks were high; death before the operation, death during the operation or “worse” waking up from the operation with permanent damage from a stroke.

My brain went fuzzy, emotions pricked my eyes but my journalistic brain kicked in and I asked for the facts.

It was a 10-minute conversation and one of many we would have as my dad underwent multiple high-risk operations that year.

During this time we talked about death and dying, life and survival.

These are hard conversations – sometimes painful, confronting, urgent.

They are also topics we have to face as we write about our own lives or help a loved one write their life story.

In this article I sit down with my dad to discuss what tips he has gleaned over a lifetime of medicine on talking to people about death and dying. 

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