Book review: AFL coach pens When All is Said and Done while fighting MND

Book review: AFL coach pens When All is Said and Done while fighting MND. Book cover of When All is Said and Done by Neale Daniher with Warwick Green, Pan Macmillan Australia, and a portrait photo of Daniher from FightMND. Photos by Pan Macmillan Australia and FightMND.
When All is Said and Done by Neale Daniher with Warwick Green, Pan Macmillan Australia. Portrait photo of Daniher, from FightMND.

ABIA winning biography by Ungarie’s Neale Daniher, with Warwick Green

This week I’m sharing an award-winner: When All is Said and Done by Neale Daniher with Warwick Green.

Certainly many know Daniher as an Australian Football League (AFL) legend – on and off the field.

But in 2013 he was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease (MND) and soon after co-founded FightMND, which has invested over $40 million into research and care initiatives.

Indeed this biography began as a letter by Daniher to the grandchildren he will never get to know.

However, it was published by Pan Macmillian Australia in 2019 and awarded the Australian Book Industry Awards Biography Book of the Year 2020.

So read on for more about the book and what it can teach us as life-story creators.

What is When All is Said and Done about?

When All is Said and Done starts with Daniher growing up one of 11 children to loving and hard-working parents at Ungarie, Victoria.

But farm life takes a sudden twist at age 11 when he is awarded a scholarship to boarding school and discovers sport is a great way to fit in.

Certainly it is not long until Daniher’s love for Australian Rules football becomes his main focus.

And he goes on to play at an elite level with his brothers Terry, Anthony and Chris.

However, a series of injuries eventually leads Daniher to coaching.

Indeed he enjoys much success with Essendon, Fremantle and West Coast until 2013 when a diagnosis of MND blindsides him, his wife Jan and their four children.

“A wise man said, ‘Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.’I understand the wisdom of this – right now, I don’t have much ‘forwards’ left.”

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Your Family Stories System. Father and girl on his shoulders with arms spread wide at the beach.

Interesting parts of When All is Said and Done

Daniher’s When All is Said and Done explores some interesting topics for readers.

Firstly we get a unique look at life in the ‘backblocks’ of rural Victoria.

This includes battling droughts, shearing sheep, milking cows plus founding schools, churches and sport clubs.

Second, as to be expected from Daniher, we learn much about Aussie Rules football.

Indeed, I knew little about AFL at the start of the book but still found it interesting to hear about the spirit of the game, team selections and coaching.

However, the biggest eye-opener of this book was Daniher’s first-hand explanation of MND, which he calls “The Beast”.

In short, this debilitating disease is caused when nerve cells that control muscles start to fail and die.

“The relatively slow progression of my symptoms has helped our family come to terms with the idea of living with a terminal illness and has also afforded us some cherished time to grow even closer.”

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What writers can learn

Reading When All is Said and Done will help life-story writers in many ways.

Certainly Daniher gives us a powerful understanding of why he wrote the book.

Namely, so his grandchildren would know him after his death.

Also this biography is a fantastic example of imparting life lessons.

Indeed Daniher, ever the coach, sprinkles reflective writing through the whole book.

But most importantly, read this account as a study of how to write about painful stories.

For example, Daniher tackles difficult topics about death and dying with honesty, heart and hope for change.

“In the context of dying, arriving will be getting to the point where I know I’m ready to die. That has been one of the upsides of having MND; getting to work out what’s important and getting to say goodbye.”

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Final say

When All is Said and Done is much more than a football book.

Indeed it is almost a coach’s pep talk about living a good life.

While MND helps put Daniher’s ideas into perspective, the disease is by no means the main content of the book.

So read this life story if you are a footy fan, touched by MND or interested in how one man ‘survives, strives, thrives and arrives’ through life.

In short, a worthy and thought-provoking read.

Happy writing and reading!

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You can sit down and record your own life story like Daniher. First, make a rough outline with my free Structure Success video training. Sign up here!

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