Amazing story of how identical twins overcome closed adoption to find their birth parents
The fantastic twists and turns of a family quest inspired adoptee and identical twin Julie Ryan McGue to write her new memoir.
Twice a Daughter: A search for identity, family and belonging was published in May by She Writes Press and named 2021 Living Now Awards Gold Winner in Memoir – Female.
The book tells the story of how a medical issue prompted McGue and her sister to find their birth parents.
Indeed this became a five-year quest involving a search agency, private investigator, confidential intermediary, judge, an adoption agency, social worker and a genealogist.
Plus the sisters unearthed secrets, lies and family members who were literally right next door!
Forever Young Autobiographies recently caught up with McGue to find out more about sitting down to write her amazing story …
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Julie Ryan McGue’s Twice a Daughter
Health scare prompts search
My twin sister and I were adopted at three weeks old from St Vincent’s Orphanage in Chicago, United States of America.
It was a closed adoption, meaning we were given no information about our background.
But even though we grew up in a loving household, we harbored curiosities about our birth parents and the circumstances that led to our adoption.
Two years after adopting my twin sister and me, our adoptive parents brought home a baby boy from St Vincent’s.
Three years later, my mother found out she was pregnant.
She went on to have two more biological children.
Certainly we were a blended family, yet I never once felt our parents played favorites.
Then, when I was 48, I was sent for a breast biopsy.
Afterwards my incited twin sister and I launched an adoption search to attain our medical history.
However my sister and I were astounded when our adoptive mum showed displeasure about our adoption probe.
Throughout the five-year adoption search, which is the subject of Twice a Daughter, my twin sister and I consulted at every juncture.
So Twice a Daughter is a testament to the unique bond we share as twins and to the perseverance and resiliency we demonstrated in taking our search across the finish line.
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Why write Twice a Daughter
As I relayed the fantastic twists and turns of my adoption search to family and friends, they encouraged me to write the story down.
Ultimately, I grew comfortable with sharing the raw and honest truths of my story, and so I published it as a memoir under my own name.
Firstly I came to believe there was merit to writing my story as it unfurled to benefit fellow adoptees who were struggling with their own searches.
Also I wanted to present the many conflicts inherent in adoption searches.
Certainly there is much joy that results from adoption but there is also a lot of loss baked into the equation.
For example, often couples are driven to adoption because of infertility.
So they must accept the loss of their inability to parent a biological child.
Meanwhile for birth parents, they lose the chance to parent a biological child.
And for adoptees like me from the closed-adoption era, we lost all connection to personal history; our ability to form full and complete identities continues to be stifled by rigid and antiquated adoption laws.
In short, by writing Twice a Daughter, I strove to highlight how difficult it is for adoptees to attain what most folks take for granted: a sense of personal history.
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Support for the book
When I wrote the first drafts, only my twin sister and immediate family were apprised of the project.
However, with each revision of the manuscript, I grew more comfortable with sharing outside of that initial circle.
Then when I received a contract from my publisher, She Writes Press, I shared the news with everyone.
During the COVID-19 shutdown, I completed the final manuscript of Twice a Daughter.
And in the spring of 2020, I revealed the memoir to my birth relatives and adoptive families.
Naturally, I was concerned about how they would react but I knew I had taken great care to protect their privacy.
Both of my mothers read the memoir before it was released.
And they are proud of the book’s success.
Writing Twice a Daughter
Getting started
I began the search for my birth family in 2008.
At that time, I began journaling and keeping track of the project’s timeline.
In 2010, when the adoption search heated up, I enrolled in writing courses and started drafting early chapters.
But when the last phase of my adoption search ended in 2014, I was exhausted.
As a result I needed emotional distance to write the story the way it needed to be told.
Then in 2016, I set aside a novel and returned to completing my memoir.
So with a fresh focus, renewed energies and tools I’d picked up from fiction-writing, I set out to complete Twice a Daughter.
Finally the book was published and released in May.
To sum up, it has taken over 10 years from beginning the adoption search to publishing the book.
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Overcoming writing challenges
The hardest part of writing Twice a Daughter was deciding where the story needed to begin and end, and what to take out and what to leave in.
For example, there are parts of my family upbringing I cut because those scenes distracted the reader from the search story.
Also, I chose to cut scenes from the reunion with my birth mum as these detracted from the core message of the final work.
However, I intend to use this material in a future work.
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Reaping rewards of Twice a Daughter
The most rewarding part of Twice a Daughter is connecting with my target audience and readers.
Indeed every day I hear from adoptees and birth parents who are struggling with aspects of their searches.
And I’m able to encourage them and offer search tips or recommend resources. This contact is so rewarding.
Meanwhile, my favorite part of my adoption search journey is the relationships I’m nurturing with newly found birth relatives.
While my story had a lot of ups and downs, joys and rejections, it ended on mostly a positive note.
Therefore enlarging my family circle to include birth relatives is the most worthwhile part of this difficult journey.
Advice for adoptees
Firstly read as much as you can about adoption and the search and reunion process.
Second, talk to people who have navigated it already, so you have clear expectations.
Also make sure you are at a good point in your life and that you are surrounded by supportive people.
Finally, seek out a post-adoption support group, one that offers a safe space to share your unique experience with like-minded souls.
Final say: Twice a Daughter
Twice a Daughter: A search for identity, family and belonging by Julie Ryan McGue is an award-winning memoir about locating birth relatives.
But it is also a life story about discovering who you are, where you come from and trying to make sense of it all.
Find out for yourself by purchasing a paperback, ebook or audiobook version from wherever books are sold.
And discover more about McGue and her writing at her website or connect on Facebook.
Happy writing!
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Thanks Nicola for this all-encompassing fabulous article about me and my book! I loved it and posted on social media! I appreciate you and your support means alot!