Jessica Lynn Jacquez on writing and growing up in the San Francisco Bay Area
New writer Jessica Lynn Jacquez’s memoir Point Me to the Skies is full of resilience, courage and faith.
The certified life coach was born in Oakland, California, and grew up trying to survive tumult and violence.
Firstly Jacquez says her relationship with her mother was defined by “deep-rooted brokenness and drug and alcohol abuse” but with hints of unconditional love.
Meanwhile her father was destructive and troublesome.
However, Jacquez was forced to escape after developing a relationship with a man who mirrored her turbulent past.
Indeed she made a powerful comeback “proving that anything is possible”.
Jacquez now lives with her husband David on America’s East Coast.
And this week she gives us a behind-the-scenes look at why and how she wrote the powerful life story plus valuable tips for new writers …
1 Starting Point Me to the Skies
A powerful why
The decision to tell this story didn’t come easily.
From the time I was 18 there were people encouraging me to write a book about my experiences.
However, this wasn’t something I wanted to do.
It didn’t feel like the right time, I didn’t know if my story was even worth writing about and lastly, my biggest reason of all, I was ashamed.
I was at a place in my life where I was trying to shed my past, not relive it.
Over the next several years it became apparent to me that pursuing healing from the trauma I had experienced needed to be my priority.
Of course this would take time and not be a linear process.
However, within a few short years I came to a point where I was no longer ashamed of my past.
Everywhere I looked I saw people displaying their lives in a way that made them seem so happy – so perfect.
But I wanted to do the opposite.
I wanted to share my story regardless of how ugly and shameful some may have viewed it.
There are many reasons why individuals don’t speak up about what they’ve been through.
However, the driving force behind writing Point Me to the Skies was to alleviate the shame that others feel and for my readers to feel encouraged to speak up, tell their own stories, and pursue their own healing.
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Finding truth and support to pen Point Me to the Skies
My prayer for the two years I planned and wrote Point Me to the Skies was that I would tell my story as accurately as humanly possible.
So I spent hundreds of hours going over details to ensure what I was saying was the most accurate representation of what actually happened.
Because I was so confident of how I was telling the story, I wasn’t overly concerned about what others thought of it.
However, it took years of healing and prayer to feel confident that writing a book was the right thing to do.
Once I knew it was the right thing to do, I didn’t concern myself too much about opinions.
Therefore, I don’t want to discount others who are struggling with his part because this can be a very difficult aspect of the writing process and it looks different for everyone.
However, I was very blessed with friends and family who were huge supporters of my book.
My brother, Paul, plays a big part in my story.
A lot of what happened to me also happened to him.
Because of this I was sensitive to his concerns.
Fortunately for me, he was supportive of what I was doing and why I was doing it.
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2 The writing process for Point Me to the Skies
It took years of therapy and healing first in order to tell this story, however, everyone’s journey looks different so this may not be the case for everybody.
That being said, once I felt confident I could begin writing, I quit my full-time job and began the writing process, which took me about 18 months.
During this time, I spent each day compiling memories I would potentially share in Point Me to the Skies.
Mindmapping with Post-it Notes was extremely helpful and was a great way for me to stay organised.
Firstly I wrote down the major events/ memories and put them on Post-its.
Then I placed them on a poster board in chronological order.
As I continued to remember new things, it was easy to add them and make changes.
Once I had everything on the poster board, I essentially had my outline done.
Finally that’s when the writing began.
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3 The highs and lows of writing Point Me to the Skies
Biggest challenges
The entire process was difficult.
If I’m being completely transparent, there wasn’t one enjoyable moment.
This may come as a shock to some but I’m certain many can relate.
The last third of Point Me to the Skies was particularly difficult for me to write.
Indeed talking about your past is completely different from writing about it.
So in order to tell the story accurately, you must completely immerse yourself into that time of your life.
It’s not an exaggeration to say that doing so means, many times, re-traumatising yourself.
Therefore there’s no easy way around this part of the process.
It’s difficult and not much will change that – you just have to remember why you started.
That being said, prayer and getting good rest were essential for me during this time.
I think it’s important for writers of memoirs to go into this process fully expecting it to be difficult while also having a plan for how they will handle that.
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Comforting highs
The most rewarding part of writing Point Me to the Skies are the messages I receive from readers who tell me what an impact my book had on them.
Indeed men and women of all ages and backgrounds have told me that reading my story brought them healing and comfort.
Some have even told me that they felt encouraged and empowered enough to confront their abusers!
This was my hope with sharing this story so to see it happening feels unreal.
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Favourite part of the book?
I’ve reflected on this quite a bit and I cannot come up with one favourite part.
Certainly I love Point Me to the Skies, I love all of it.
Not because I’m the most talented writer, that is far from the truth but I love it because it’s the raw and authentic story of my life.
So I know how difficult it was to not only live through what I did but to then go on to write about it and share it with the world.
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4 Advice for new writers
I think the most important tip I can give to those working on similar projects to Point Me to the Skies is: know that there’s a good chance you will not find catharsis writing your memoir.
In fact, there may not be a single day in your writing process that’s enjoyable to you.
However, this isn’t meant to be a discouragement but instead a way to properly prepare you.
Sometimes writers go into this with the idea that writing will feel rewarding.
But for me, and many other authors, this was never the case.
So don’t take this as a sign that you’re not supposed to write.
There are people who need your story!
And remember, if writing a memoir was easy many more people would be doing it.
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Final say: Point Me to the Skies
Jacquez’s memoir Point Me to the Skies is all about searching for meaning in a life of chaos and dysfunction.
Read it to discover more about her powerful story and be inspired to start and finish your own.
You can grab a paperback version from her website JessicaLynnJacquez.com.
Also find it at your local bookstore or Amazon.
Happy writing.
*Please note: If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault, domestic or family violence contact emergency services. If you are affected by this story and want to seek assistance, see: 1800RESPECT, Kids Help Line, Lifeline.
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Your say
Are you going to try one of Jacquez’s writing tips? Which ideas resonate with you? I always love hearing from different people. Drop me an email or leave a reply in the comments section at the end of this article.
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This article first appeared on the website Forever Young Autobiographies.com.