Part 2: A discussion with child expert Karen Lock Kolp about Your Family Stories and preserving family legacy
In my last article I wrote about appearing on the podcast We Turned Out Okay: The modern parent’s guide to old-school parenting.
Host Karen Lock Kolp M.Ed. had me on the show to talk about my new book Your Family Stories: Easily capture your loved ones’ memories for future generations and to inspire her listeners to record family life stories and memories this Christmas and holiday season.
During the show Karen talked about her family and I raised a number of tips for compiling an autobiography including; using the senses to tap into memories, the power of establishing emotional connections with your audience, and key reasons why YOUR story matters.
Taste the story
On the show, Karen described her grandmother who had a “most whipsaw, wonderful sense of humour” and who could make a delicious fried-knot dessert.
This super story helps illustrate the importance of tapping into our five senses when recording an autobiography.
The senses are a powerful way to invoke memories that can be included in a life story.
“It is amazing when you think about the senses, when you are talking about cooking, the memories that get brought up by food or smells,” Nicola said.
“A really strong connection to memory is through food.”
Tapping into emotional connections
Karen also told a story about holding a public speaking class for high school students.
During the class, a student who struggles with his emotions described how proud and teary he felt when he won a gold athletics medal.
She asked if autobiographies and family stories were good at establishing emotional connections.
“There are different levels of storytelling,” Nicola said.
“You can tell a story the way you think people want to hear it.
“But the best stories are when you just tell it like it is.
“You have to be quite brave to do that.
“Like your student, you have to be a bit vulnerable to put yourself out there.
“If you and your children are interviewing your loved one, you are kind of in a safe space to begin with.
“Your family is not going to tear you down usually.
“They are on your side, they are rooting for you.
“Having your vulnerabilities exposed like that shows your human side, helps people relate, and be endearing towards you.
“A story that is told with emotion and feeling is so much more engaging than one that is just the facts or just the line that we think you want to hear.”
Overcoming resistance
During the show Karen said her elderly grandfather “lit up” when she showed him photos she had taken of his childhood Italian village.
She said this was a great catalyst to encourage him to talk about memories that otherwise might not have been discussed in decades.
Using photos is a terrific way to make progress on your autobiography or to overcome initial modesty some people have about sharing their life stories.
“A lot of people will say ‘oh I’m not interesting, I’m not a celebrity, I haven’t done anything famous, why would anyone want to read my story’,” Nicola said.
“In working for the newspaper as a journalist you come across people everyday for various stories and they tell you about their life.
“These might be just your average ‘Aussie Battlers’ and tell you the most amazing stories.
“But they will be so modest and say ‘oh you don’t need to know about me’.
“It’s true, we have a saying as journalists that ‘everyone has a story’, you have just got to mine that a little bit and there is true gold.
“If you mine your own family or loved ones, you can see how we are all connected and the ties running through our lives – just like you have with your grandfather there.
“Not only do you learn key facts about their lives, what they did and where they did it and all these things but you get a bond and an appreciation of how they dealt with challenges or obstacles.
“They too get a sense of perspective when they reflect back on things.
“As a child, your grandfather might not have thought much of the donkey with the waterbottles (and collecting water) but in hindsight, looking back, you can connect the dots and see how your life has meaning and why certain parts happened.
“It is good for you listening, absorbing and learning the wisdom but it is also satisfying and good for the soul for them to share these stories.”
Final say
It was a wonderful experience appearing on We Turned Out Okay to hear snippets of Karen’s rich family history and talk about Your Family Stories.
In episode 200 we shared some top tips to make a start on your autobiography or a life-story project including, using the senses to tap into memories, the power of emotional connections, and key reasons why your story matters.
You can catch the podcast here (my interview starts after the extended intro at the 27-minute mark).
Happy writing!
How did you enjoy the podcast? I’d love to hear what you thought. Send me an email.
Have you hit a roadblock planning, writing or finishing your autobiography? Let me know here so I can help!
