How to start a story: Memory recall, writing structure plus writing process

Talking tips for writing a book with Rock Your Retirement host Kathe Kline

How to start a story about your life was the key focus of my recent interview on the popular Rock Your Retirement podcast.

I had a blast talking to host Kathe Kline about Writing memoirs for loved ones: Expectations vs. Reality.

Kathe said she wished she had recorded interviews with her father about his life and parents before his dementia and Parkinson’s disease set in.

But she is keen to make a start on her own memoir.

In the episode I explained to her and her listeners ways to start writing and tips to recall memories.

I’ve highlighted the main points for you below.

Let’s jump in…

How to start a story about your life

Where do you start? You don’t start… “I was born on a stormy night”! This is every writer’s big question.

I think the main thing is that you have a DESIRE to want to write something.

Next figure out WHY you want to write the story and WHO it is for.

Then pick somewhere where you would like to begin writing.

What you write first doesn’t always end up being the start of the book.

Just start with a time and place in your life that is interesting or exciting and that you would like to revisit.

Write a short story about a key milestone or an event.

Get your energy going and have an early win.

Before you know it you have probably written a good page or so – you have begun!

See related article: Understanding your why to write a powerful autobiography

Writing structure

Do most people start with a story or do they do an outline?

There are usually two camps.

There are the ones who don’t like to do any planning whatsoever.

They just like to jump in and go for it.

But then you have the other extreme who like to do pages and pages of outline that they might like to write about.

I’m more inclined to say, no, you want a happy medium.

Have a general rough idea but writing is a creative process.

Things will come up that you probably hadn’t thought of or you will go into depth in areas you didn’t think you would and vice versa.

It’s just a bit of a map so that you can keep on track and so things aren’t overlooked.

Getting started on your life-story writing structure?

Memory recall

I don’t remember things unless someone reminds me of something or I see a photo. Is there a way to help people remember their memories?

Memory is a funny thing. It is a bit like murky water.

All the long-term memories will settle down to the bottom.

You almost have to dredge memories up and make that water a bit dirty so that they come up to the surface.

On my website I go through a few different exercises and some of them are a bit different to what you might think…

Take a stroll

The first one I would suggest is going for a walk around your house.

It is amazing the THINGS in your house that will tell a story and bring up memories.

I’m thinking of my parents’ house. They were travellers and they have lots of nick-nacks that have a story of a place or a journey.

Uncover treasure chests

Also a good thing to do is to look back through your treasures.

It’s that box of valuable things you would probably put under your arm and take out the door if there was a fire, an earthquake or a flood.

It could contain all your school reports, photo albums, newspaper clippings, diaries – anything like that that is sentimental.

Activate your senses

Another thing people probably wouldn’t think about to stir up memories would be sounds.

So flicking back through your record collection or vinyl – whatever you have got in the house.

It is amazing how different songs will transport you back to a different time.

And you remember things that you were doing to that song or feelings associated with that song.

Another sense of course would be smell.

By going into the kitchen and having a look around the pantry you will remember things from a smell.

“Oh, I remember that from my childhood when such and such would cook this,” you might find yourself saying.

Writing process

Are there any other tips you can give the listener on what they should know before they start writing their memoir?

When we write we often have that self critic in the back of our heads saying: “What are you writing that for? That’s silly, start again!”

My advice would be to ignore it.

Just turn off those thoughts.

Blast out those ideas

In the first instance when you write a story let it flow onto the page, get creative.

It’s not going to be perfect.

The best writer in the world has a terrible first draft.

There’s a reason why we never see first drafts.

It’s just a way to get everything down and onto the page.

I like to refer to it as a fire-hose exercise.

You are putting everything out onto the page, it’s not pretty, and turn off that self critic.

It’s when you come back and do a second draft, that’s when you might have a bit more of a critical eye.

So don’t work yourself up and agonise over the grammar or how you have structured it or anything like that in that first draft of a story.

Just have fun, get it out there and see what you can remember.

Before you know it you have written quite a lot.

Take some timeout

Then let your writing sit for a bit, have a break and come back to it with fresh eyes.

Go have a coffee, leave it overnight or come back to it in a week’s time.

You will be quite surprised – your writing will often be better than what you may have expected.

So just be easy on yourself, know that it is a process, it’s not something you are going to be able to just knock out.

Final say

Writing an autobiography is a great project to take on in your retirement or any time you feel creative.

There are a number of key things to keep in mind before you start a story about your life.

These include; how to pick where to start, the importance of structure, ways to recall memories and how to write a first draft.

Follow these tips and you will be ready – just like Kathe – to “start writing down some of my memories before they all disappear”!

If you want to hear more, check out my full interview with Kathe by clicking here.

Happy writing!

Want to make a start on your life story before memories fade? I show you how to plan your writing structure in my FREE video training. Sign up here to plan your autobiography chapters.

How to start a story: Podcast special – memory recall, writing structure plus writing process