The easy way to get an interview and capture family stories
First published November 30, 2017: This article has been updated and improved.
The recent Christmas holiday season was a terrific time to catch up with family and loved ones.
Getting together for a meal, barbecue or beach trip is an amazing opportunity to share memories: from the newly minted to well-heard favourites and forgotten gems.
If these captured your interest why not keep the momentum going by making it a goal this year to tee up a life-story interview with a loved one such as a parent, grandparent or dear friend.
Keep reading for my top tips and suggestions from the Your Family Stories System to do just that …
Floating the idea of a life-story interview
Don’t overthink setting up a life-story interview with a loved one: just ask.
If you do this quickly you won’t give yourself time to put it off or back out!
Just off the cuff say something like: “I really think we need to sit down for an hour or so and get your life story recorded. What do you think?”
That’s about all you need to say at this stage.
Of course you can customise this request for your situation (say you hope to include your children in the interview etc) but just get that idea out there in a genuine, loving and sincere fashion.
Ideally it would be optimal to aim for say three interview sessions of one hour each but shoot for one to begin with.
You don’t want to scare your loved one off with some ‘huge’ project!
The KISS saying – Keep It Simple Stupid – rings true here.
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Overcoming resistance to a life-story interview
OK, I hear you say, but what if my loved one straight-up says: “No way in hell! I’m not interesting. No one wants to hear my story.”
Yep, this is sure to happen in some life-story interview instances.
Don’t get discouraged.
Your loved one might be a tough nut to crack so think about why this project is so important.
For instance highlight the key reasons you, and perhaps your children, want to do this.
Also stress the benefits your loved one will get from a life-story interview.
Make sure you do this in a cajoling, light-hearted but determined fashion.
If the answer is still “no” don’t give up! Let the topic rest for a little until you next meet or talk again.
Then be politely persistent and ask a second or even a third time.
At this point it might be helpful to assure your loved one they will be in control of an interview and any account created.
To clarify tell them it will be their story and they will have the final say.
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Make it a date
Once you have your loved one’s consent you are on your way to setting up a life-story interview. Terrific work!
The next step is to decide where and when: i.e. select a time and a place for the first interview.
You may automatically have a good idea for this.
Of course make a suggestion but let your loved one decide.
It is their interview and you want them to feel in control of the situation.
That being said, however, my opinion is life-story interviews, especially an initial one, are best conducted at your loved one’s home at a time to suit them and their energy levels.
Interviewing might not be physically taxing but it can be emotionally exhausting so aim to catch your loved one when they are at their freshest.
Often ideal times are mid-morning or just after lunch.
Of course picking a good time helps the flow of conversation and memories!
Related article – Case study: Helping my grandmother, 98, write her autobiography
Final say: Life-story interviews
Today is the perfect time to plan a life-story interview with a loved one.
To conclude: simply float the idea, be prepared for some initial resistance, and set up an interview time and place.
The interview experience will help you connect and bond with your loved one and no doubt be a lot of fun!
Happy writing!
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Need some help getting started capturing a loved one’s life story? Get the first few sections of the Your Family Stories System for free. Sign up here or fill in the form below.
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This article first appeared on the website Forever Young Autobiographies.com.
